Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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