i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
