dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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