Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
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