You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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