SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize