Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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