if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
