i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
