I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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