Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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