I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
