at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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