And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
