I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
