i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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