Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
