I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
