...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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