I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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