what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
