all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
