i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
