I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
