the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
