it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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