After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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