ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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