you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
