im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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