I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
