It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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