she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
