Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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