I faked an abortion last night.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
