We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
