im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize