i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
