It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
