I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
