he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
