It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
