fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
