I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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