apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
