# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize