He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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