i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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