Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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