so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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