OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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