What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
