My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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