I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
