someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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