he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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