if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
