there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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