Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
