You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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