Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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