OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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