cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
