Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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