I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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