I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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