Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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