I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize